These are a selection of testimonies from real people who I have helped over the past 15 years, I thank them for permission to use their kind words.
1) Adrian was recommended to me by a family member and thus far he has been fabulous! I have been struggling with a long series of family issues that stretch right back to my earliest years. Having him there to talk to once a week in the midst of some deep personal pain has helped make things much easier. He gets me and understands where I am coming from like only a tiny few other people ever have. He asks deep questions that get underneath the issues, but does not push me to deal with the things I find hard to face at present. We are slowly circling in on those and will deal with them when the time is right. He works with me at my rate and I feel safe to say what I need to and let my emotions out. Due to the type of work I do I already have a fair knowledge of mental health issues and it is clear to me he is eminently qualified and experienced. He has lots of different ways of working so if one thing does not work so well he usually has plenty of other things to try. I would happily recommend Adrian to anyone.Leadership and personal development consultant.
M, age 40-50
2) The counselling sessions were held in a safe and confidential space. I appreciated your genuine warmth and acceptance for who I am. Being able to trust you helped me to explore and understand how painful past experiences were still affecting me. You enabled me to work through this and to change how I relate to my past. I felt really listened to and emotionally supported.
I now know I am moving forwards rather than being stuck in my past. I am more self confident to go ahead with the things that really matter to me. Thank you Adrian.
F, age 60-70
3) I lost direction in my life and did not know how to move forward. I trusted Adrian to guide me. Adrian is a patient, compassionate and intuitive man. He guided me to restore my self-worth and belief in myself. Treating post-traumatic stress syndrome and taught me many techniques to deal with stress. He taught me how to cope with the challenges in my life at the time and be more prepared for lifes journey. I have moved forward positively, I am more confident and content and able to deal with life and its ups and downs.
F, age 30-40
4) I found my therapist to be holding, empathetic and intuitive.
He helped me to heal from the devastating effects of my childhood PTSD and I learnt to connect with myself again.
F, age 30-40
5) Adrian gave me an enormous amount of support at a very difficult time in my life. I already knew none of this was my fault but to have his support and someone validating and understanding what it was like for me meant an awful lot, it had never happened before.
Since then Adrian has given me support by writing references and if I need any thing I can e mail. Life is much better since then and I am slowly getting back on my feet, sometimes it is those who are there for you in the bad times you remember because when I came out of hospital I had no one, Id upset all my friends and had no contact with my family whatsoever..............
F, age 50-60
6) Adrian worked with me for over two years - the length of the relationship is no reflection on his skills as a counsellor, but probably an indication of his patience!!!
I found Adrian through the recommendation of a friend, initially for relationship counselling with my (now) ex-husband. I subsequently attended individual counselling with Adrian because of what happened in the marriage. It has been a life-changing journey on many levels. Through patient and persistent, yet caring counselling, he has helped me to find out what in my past has been holding me back from having a more fulfilling life in terms of believing in myself. He particularly showed me how I could change my life though becoming free of the Co-dependency I had fallen foul of, particularly through an abusive relationship with a covert aggressor.
I suffered marital rape and he helped me to deal with this and then to heal. I contemplated suicide prior to commencing counselling and he has helped me to learn to value myself as a person, not dependent on another for their existence. He helped me move on in my life after my marriage ended and to deal with the uncertainties and insecurity that this had brought. And he helped me to process the dreadful things that happened to me as a consequence of the rape, multiple adultery, major theft from marital assets and much more. I have been able to say things to Adrian that I would not be able to say to even my best friends. As well as helping me change my outlook on life and learning to value myself as a person, he has taught me many techniques such as mindfulness, stepping back to enable me to respond and not react, which helped me get through some tough times, such as days in court!
Even though Adrian has now moved to another part of the country, I value the Skype consultations and these helped me to sustain the momentum of getting through the financial settlement, the Children Act proceedings, and the general acrimony of the divorce.
I would not hesitate in recommending Adrian as a counsellor. He has great insight and patience, moving me on at my pace but spotting opportunities to make progress and assisted me into new understanding when I felt I was able and ready.
F, age 50-60
7) I was desperate for real help, help that was genuine and tangible. Day after day I wished I was dead. I have dissociative identity disorder (DID) and really was not really living with it, purely existing and forcibly dragging myself along every day. A sense of hopelessness pervaded every part of me. Flashbacks, panic, blackouts and misunderstanding were my normality. I had no real sense of safety or trust, I really did not understand those concepts. Trauma and torture were my reality.
For the first time in my life I was able to be me, Adrian accepted us for who we were. He has journeyed with me from the very beginning.
EMDR is continuing to lessen my flashbacks, his concern consistency and, patience have stabilised my life.
I have hope now. Adrian has encouraged, supported, held and guided me through processing horrific trauma. Most of all though, the essential element of my healing has come through his unceasing compassion, and dedication to see me walk free.
F, age 40-50
8) I am very grateful to have had Adrian as a counsellor; he is so kind and understanding, and he has truly helped me to feel better in myself. I was diagnosed several years ago with depression, anxiety, and later on an eating disorder, and, before I began seeing Adrian, I failed to receive much benefit from the number of treatments I was given for them. Adrian, however, really helped me to begin to feel better and more hopeful for the future, and I feel this is because he truly listened to and understood me. I know that he was genuinely sympathetic to my problems and passionate about helping me to overcome them. I felt safe and comfortable talking to him, because I knew he will not judge me nor push me to do anything that would make me feel uncomfortable.
F, age 20-30
9) Adrian had been my counsellor for just over 3 years. He was fab and I would highly recommend him to anyone thinking about counselling. Initially, I was a reluctant client but through his work, I began to really see the benefits, the improvements I made over those 3 years were amazing. I improved my self-esteem, gained more confidence and the ability to challenge that negative voice that sits inside our heads. He is well read and keeps abreast of the latest research. What I particularly like is that when doing my own reading around various aspects he engages you in such as mindfulness, I often find myself going, oh Adrian said that. This is what Adrian talks about! I found the use of EMDR a challenge but did begin to see the real benefits this has had on rewriting my past fear, memories and emotions. A revelation and the unburdening of 30 years worth of trauma. My advice is, Just trust him, he knows what he is doing. If he suggests you practice your breathing and other things, it is worth doing because it really does help and moves you forward much quicker. He really is worth his weight in gold.
F, age 40-50
10) I saw Adrian for counselling for just over six months as I suffer from recurrent depression.
During that time I felt I made considerable progress in understanding the nature of my condition and its causes. I am now much better equipped to deal with it.
This has been possible due to Adrian`s skill and personal experience, evidenced by his understanding, empathy and perceptive insights.
He created a safe and supportive space where I felt able to talk about my experiences and difficulties without being judged.
Thanks to Adrian, I now feel more hopeful about the future and am taking steps towards healing.
F, age 40-50
11) My wife & I had run into real problems in our relationship. Although we have been married for over 15 years, we came to a point of really not understanding each other and were heading towards an imminent divorce.
Adrian was really very supportive to me during the counselling that I received. He was very easy to work with and understanding of both our marital situation and the personal issues that we discussed and worked together on.
Over a number of months I was able to spend time talking and discussing the problems and issues that I had inadvertently brought into our marriage.
I found Adrian to be very professional in his dealings; well qualified and a counsellor with excellent experience of unlocking emotional issues from my past, that inadvertently were having a negative effect on my present life and relationship.
I am pleased to say that things have very much changed in my relationship with my wife. Rather than misunderstanding each other and our individual motives, it now very much feels as though we are thinking together and pulling in the same direction.
I would very much recommend Adrian to you as someone in whom you can confide.
M, age 50-60
Dear Adrian, I know that I pay you to help me. And that is how it should be. But I want to acknowledge the degree to which you have helped me. Instead of incinerating everything within a 5-meter radius with my anger and rage, I feel myself glowing with goodness. Almost happiness. It is something that I have never truthfully been able to say. I have tried to convince myself I was happy before because most of the factors for happiness were present.
Never have I felt before the possibility of being happy on my own, where nothing else was dependent on that happiness.
You have created a domino effect in my life. All the anger that is being released is helping me function as I was meant to. Everything in my life seems easier.
This is the first time I have stopped trying to access the future. I have stopped trying to see where everything leads. I am actively trying to be present in the now and live in the moment.
M, age 30-40
13) Thank you Adrian, the person whom I recommended to you has told me that you have helped her in a way that she did not feel was possible, and together you turned her life around. She is able to go out and is beginning to make friends again and hopes to be able to return to work shortly. From a personal point of view you also have a gift in training people so they understand and make changes. My staff group have dramatically improved their self-awareness since you have been training them. I have never been asked by staff to extend training sessions because they are really learning and enjoying it so much.(Manageress of a large residential care home)
F, age 40-50
14) I went to Adrian around two years ago in a state of desperation following the dramatic end of a 12 year abusive relationship and was struggling with being in a new relationship. I didnt know who I was, how to behave or why anyone would want to be with me. I was vulnerable, scared and had no control of my own life. I was so desperate to be able to relax and be happy.
The first year of seeing Adrian consisted mainly of crying, having to face things that I had hidden for many years. Adrian had taught me breathing techniques and coping strategies early on which enabled me to keep myself safe and listen to my body when dragging up deep seeded painful memories. Adrian listened to me, letting me talk. He has a warm and compassionate manner and steady encouragement which guided me from a state of ambivalence and sadness to optimism and strength. He gave me tools and activities to help me understand my own emotions and feelings. I had to look at myself in a totally different way reliving memories from my childhood which I didnt even think were relevant to my current issues and who I had become. This was a huge eye opener and from this I began to understand why I felt the way I did. The compassion from Adrian allowed me to feel comfortable enough to become vulnerable to the hard work ahead of me. I began to stop blaming myself and grew in confidence each session. I felt comfortable to let myself go, letting my body talk, letting out emotions I was not even aware of, I felt safe and was not under any pressure to talk or do anything that I did not feel comfortable with. Adrian let me guide the direction of all the sessions encouraging me and reassuring all the time.
It was never easy but I never felt I had to do it alone. With his guidance and focus I have consistently moved forward towards more insight and greater understanding. His questions allow me to explore a situation from various angles and points of view. His understanding provides me with the scaffolding to question my own actions, thoughts and beliefs in order to cultivate the life I know I want, I deserve and ultimately, the one I can have. My life was spinning towards destruction as a result of many significant factors far beyond my control, however, with his insight I was able to gain back control of my own life and find a level of peace that I had never known prior to starting this work.
Adrian has changed my life. He has helped me get back to the person I used to be, the person who I lost along the way because I was too busy trying to make everyone else happy. He has helped me to let go of my anger, sadness, fears and insecurities. Adrian has given me the ability to remember my own self-worth, strengths, and my zest for life, I am more confident than I have ever been. Not only did I get ME back, but I got ME back 10 times better than I was before. I am so very thankful to him for all he has given me and for who he is as a person. My work with Adrian has literally changed my life, I am happy, happier than I have ever been, happier than I thought possible. Events from my past changed me into someone I did not like. Over the past year I have been able to rediscover who I am and who I want to continue to become. I couldnt have done it without him, life is good.
F, age 30-40
15) I sought Adrian out online 11 months ago because I was struggling to deal with anxiety and panic attacks. I had got to a place where I felt like my world was shrinking, avoiding busy places, shops, driving and finding work environments increasingly difficult. I had never had any counselling before and I was anxious about seeing a counsellor, so had previously been trying to manage most of the anxiety I was feeling by self-help information. I had reached a ceiling though, where I felt like I was trying to climb a steep hill but every time I would go forward, I would slip back again, and it seemed bleak and out of control.
Adrian taught me a lot of strategies to help with my anxiety and to keep me in the present, but more importantly in my opinion helped me to understand the root of that anxiety. This has enabled me to heal and grow. I have learnt a lot about myself and I am the calmest I’ve ever been right now. I can feel my confidence returning. I am in a way glad that things got to the point where I needed help, because I can confidently say that this feels like a turning point in my life. Looking after my mental health has been a revelation to me. Having been a little worried about the idea of counselling, Adrian really made me feel at ease and trusting him to help me was a decision I am glad that I made- I wish I’d made it sooner!
F, age 25-30
16) Dear Adrian, it is dichotomy that bore us and menace who kept us alive. Death surrounded and assailed our senses, dissociation is how we survived as parts of a whole, segmented, fragmented tormented under controlled mind with intensity of trauma and shock tactics unbearable, enshrined, lives not lived but endured, numbing, shocking, unspeakable crimes, with time we grew in defiance, gathering together the parts we formed an alliance. Suddenly a contender came into our world, patient and kind, bold in his challenge and assured of his step he enveloped our fears and kept his promises and helped us to mend and to laugh through the pain, agony flooded our memories again, holding our breath we were delivered from death as the story of trauma collided with depths dark and deep, a mosaic of secrets to keep silent and hidden, but for one man who has given us hope where once there was none.
A lady Writter
17) We have had many counsellors over the years, all with different skills and training but Adrian has been the best counsellor we have ever met. He has been hugely supportive and helpful throughout our time as his client. He understands DID, its terrible up and downs, in all its complexities and joy of joys, he talks to and helps my alters.
Adrian has a knack for getting to the bottom of all sorts of problems and knowing just how to help us sort them, we work as a coalition and our world looks lighter and more hopeful now. Meeting Adrian was the turning point in our lives and the best thing that ever happened to us. We now have hope and a future. Thank you, Adrian, for everything you have done.
18)JoJo (Alter age 16)
You are my my conscience, my confidant, and so supportive.
LJ (Alter age 7)
Adrian is the best person I know and he even likes my jokes.
Harkan (Alter age 4)
[sic]The best thing abowt Adrian is that he is there whenever I want to talk to him and he smiles a lot.
Poppy (Alter age 13)
You have taught us all that the whole world isn`t bad and pain and fear and there are good people out there. You are sympathetic to our situation and instrumental in changing it. We would not have survived without you. Many, many thanks from the bottom of our hearts.
Misu (Alter aged 16)
There hasn`t been a day in the last 10 years that I haven`t given thanks that Adrian answered our cry for help. Through e-mails, phone calls and meeting in person he has supported and counselled us all. He has ended the flashbacks and nightmares of so many of us and has given us hope. His understanding of DID is very deep and I can honestly say that we would never have survived without his expertise, his commitment and his unwavering support.
Peter (Alter age 5)
Adrian is grate because he helped stop my flasbacks and he gave me a tractor and he likes squirrels.
Tikki (Alter age unknown)
Adrian is brilliant. He helps everyone even if they aren`t always good. He saved our lives and made lots of the bad stuff go away.
19) Here is a little update one year on from my counselling. I have moved on so far and was thinking how invaluable your and my hard work last year has been. So mainly thank you, but also some feedback on how valuable things you showed and taught me have been.
1) I am no longer too frightened, ashamed or unable to seek counselling in the future should i require it, i have learned the value of it.
2) I still become very angry every now and again but recognise it and know I am over loaded and not looking after myself in some way with all the un-needed rubbish. I am aware of it, and remember all the breathing and mindfulness we did, which always calms me and i move on again.
3) I do not feel like a nutter needing counselling as many people are having it or certainly should be having it.
4) Recognising other peoples irrational behaviour has been an invaluable lesson, I do not blame myself for everything any more, I enjoy more equal, balanced and better relationships in every area of my life.
5). I learnt that i do not need people to like me and am no longer blaming myself for other peoples upset.
Thank you Adrian for sorting me out. Thank you for helping me to be a good wife and mother. Thank you for letting me enjoy my life again.
F, age 50
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